Monthly Archives: March 2009

Conscious Relationships

Akshara and Satya Wedding KissWe often seek intimate relationships in order to fill something within us which we believe to be missing. We sense that there is a dark hole, an empty place, an incompleteness. We spend countless hours searching for this fulfillment, hoping that someday we will be happy and complete through a love relationship and from receiving love from another.
Once we find someone who loves us, we often look for gratification and fulfillment of what we believe to be missing within us, through this person and through the relationship. We often attempt to receive the love we feel we deserve or need, and the ego has many, countless ways of trying to accomplish this. This hopefulness of being fulfilled and loved unconditionally often gets us in the door, or to the altar.

Yet relationships offer something much more, if we are willing to allow for the unknown, and have the courage to face what hasn’t been met within us. It offers us the experience and realization that nothing can fill this seeming emptiness and that nothing can give us what we are wanting, not even the love of another. In truth, nothing outside can give us what we are seeking because what we are seeking has never been anywhere else besides within, and has never been lost.

This love that we want is who we are. It is the seeking outside which covers the truth that we are Love itself. The love one feels for someone else is simply the recognition of that, seen within another being. We are in love with that which is within oneself. This love, and this external being, are the reflection of our own Self. In this recognition, true love can be felt, realized and celebrated. Giving and receiving are recognized as the same. Through this true expression, we honor each other as individual reflections of tenderness. And this tenderness is infinitely displayed throughout the external world if we simply look at it from this perspective.

Conscious relationships are a true gift in self discovery. At times, they can be challenging, because complete honesty is not always easy for the ego. Our thoughts and beliefs can be questioned, and our emotions can get stirred. It can feel as if we are walking through the fire, noticing all the places in which we are holding back love and holding back ourselves. Yet, if we are able to walk through it, and have a partner who is willing, it can be a beautiful experience of deepening and opening into the love that we are. It offers an experience of seeing where we are holding on, not willing to let go and not willing to recognize, change, or express love.

Akshara and I are now celebrating our twelfth wedding anniversary. We are walking a beautiful journey together and I am so grateful for him and our relationship. Although there are moments of challenge, we meet them with honesty, patience and a commitment to being present. Through these times, we as a couple have deepened into a strength which holds us, which guides us and shares with us the beauty of knowing the reflection of our own self, in one another.

I see and honor my own Self as You. Namaste.

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