Monthly Archives: August 2009

Suffering is a Choice

We hear the word “suffering” a lot in this day and age. The world offers us many opportunities to suffer; through relationships, career challenges, illness, financial situations and everyday interactions. Suffering can become an ongoing experience in our lives, one in which we feel we have no control. Yet, in my experience, suffering is a choice, a conscious choice, one in which a single moment of insight can end it forever.

To put it simply, suffering has to do with the “I”. It needs this I in order to continue. This I is our ego, made up of our thoughts and feelings of resistance about what is happening. When we flow with life and allow it to lead us, as if we are being carried, there is no problem. When we resist the flow, move against it and try to dictate the outcome, we suffer. We are resisting the natural flow. We are moving against the current.

Lately, life has thrown a few challenges our way and it has been interesting to see my reactions. At first, I became very upset, angry and quite pitiful. Life was being “unfair” to us and I became a victim. Yet, once I saw this occurring, I made the choice to not take this approach again. I decided to use this opportunity to test this suffering experience which I had read so much about, yet hadn’t fully allowed in since my life was okay. With the challenges ahead, I gave the suffering a deep look to see if it really was just this concept of I that was the problem.

If I was simply allowing life to live me, what would happen? I was ready to find out. At first, nothing really happened, except I felt a bit of relief. I felt like resting for some time; the rest we need after a long struggle. It took a few days for me to feel ready for the next step, which I realized was waiting. Waiting? Yes, waiting. For what? I didn’t know, but I couldn’t move. So I waited.

This lasted for a few days… then I had a few insights, a few ideas flash into my mind. I felt inspiration and excitement to put these ideas into action. I began writing and seeing the process of a creative idea. I felt very much in the flow of life. Doors began to open, opportunities literally came to our door; life was leading us.

This feeling and experience is continuing and I feel very inspired. I know there are doors opening which weren’t there, or at least I hadn’t seen while I was in the depth of the emotions and suffering. As I continue to let go, there is more and more space for inspiration to enter. I am living from here, open.

The suffering is gone. I am flowing along this river which is carrying us to our next destination, our next adventure. Something knows more than I do. When I feel resistance arising, I see the ego. I see that it has some idea about what is supposed to happen and I know that it is often not right. I just see this. I don’t resist this either.

We may think we know where are lives are taking us, but is that really true? If you go back 5 years would you have predicted that you would be where you are now? I wouldn’t. The most beautiful things in my life I could never have imagined. And they always appear at the right time.

Whatever is occurring in your life right now, “good” or “bad”, allow it. Simply give it space to be here. It is leading you on a journey beyond your imagination. Let it carry you there. All you need to do is wait and see, and surrender the I, surrender the suffering.

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